Thursday, May 1, 2014

Pure Passion :: From Hurt to Healing {when you've been abused}



 He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners...
...to comfort all who mourn, 
     and provide for those who grieve in Zion
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.

~Isaiah 61 : 1, 2b-3

http://www.abigailalleman.com/p/series.html


Thank you for joining me in for my Pure Passion Series!{this whole series is my #RiskRejection}

It’s my story. The story of how confusion shroudedunderstanding sexuality most of my life.  I have been married over ten years and honestly, it has only been in the last few months that a major perspective shift has changed my thinking and brought great joy and new life to our sexual intimacy.

Since my journey has been encumbered by silence and inadequate teaching, I believe that in sharing honestly and openly, I can open doors in Christian relationships.  I pray that this series will bring hope and healing to other women so that, together, we can inspire each other to live with pure passion!


Before I begin to share over several posts about sexual intimacy in marriage, I wanted to speak from the heart about the hurt so many women face concerning sexuality.

There’s Hollywood images of beauty and pornographic images of sexy that destroy us.  At the heart it’s the fight we inherited from Eve when hers and our world fell.  We long to be loved unconditionally, in our naked spiritual, emotional and physical imperfection.  To be adored and embraced in a way that touches the deepest parts of us and melts away the doubt, fear and shame.  

We want to be seen for who we are in its fullness. Yet everything from without and within screams it’s outward beauty that defines.  And sadly, many married women live in the lie that it’s the oversexed images across billboards, commercials and the internet that our husbands truly want.

Even more, so many women have been sexually abused.  From the weeping heart of God who sees all and to our own weeping if we could see all we are ripped to shreds at how many of our sisters have been violated.  So often in the context of relationships meant to protect like fathers, brothers, neighbors, the trusted family friend, the person in authority in school or church or sport or club.  

This is not what God intended when He made a good world. And He does not want you or I or anyone to stay in a less-than-whole place. He wants to heal us all, through Jesus, and His redemption {buying back} all that has been lost.


As I have been finding the courage to re-engage my story—my journey to sexual understanding--I have had to face some painful things.  Abuse that hit some very close to me.  The guilt that it wasn’t me.  The sexual harassment that a former student needed to be threatened with so he would stop spreading rumors about a sexual relationship with me.  The inappropriate comments embedded in the midst of teaching a class of 25, that, because of embarrassment and shame for being an attractive woman? I didn’t confront.  The married man who, unbeknownst to naive me, fell in love with me while I was a translator on a missions’ trip he also worked.

Then there are the spiritual and emotional ways in which I gave myself away to someone unworthy of such a gift.  These choices brought heart-rending pain filled with rejection and betrayal of trust that brought me less-than-whole to my husband.


Your story has pain, too, I am sure.  It’s a fallen world and nothing has been marked by this more than sexuality.   Whether it is from abuse, sexual objectification, giving away too much, deep hurt inflicted by your spouse {emotional or sexual affair, pornography addiction, rejection or apathy towards you sexually}, your pain is real, and it is my pain too.

But this is not the end of the story.  There is hope because there is a Redeemer.  He calls us to believe nothing is impossible with Him.  This includes the ability to be healed and experience beautiful, restored, purely passionate and passionately pure sexuality.  It is a radical thought that confronts our deepest, gut-wrenching walls of doubt and fear and the insidious remnants of the fall.  It is hard to expose the raw and take the first step. But with a Risen and Reigning Rescuer and Redeemer, who is eternally living to make intercession for us, we can!

Would you walk this journey to pure passion with me?  God is doing a new thing and One Day that new thing will be forever—full of only love, light, joy, all the forever fruits of Calvary.  As we journey Home, I believe we are meant to LIVE fueled by fire that cries ‘Glory’, and it’s meant to set the world ablaze. 

All for the One Who is Worthy and is the beginning and end of all our desires.

Read the Entire Pure Passion Series here

Join Me on Monday as I continue :: 
Pure Passion :: Questions I Never Asked & Language I Never Used

Sharing with Emily #ImperfectProse and Amy #RiskRejection

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