Monday, April 28, 2014

Pure Passion :: From Solitary to Surrounded {The Season of Single}

{Author’s Note ::  As I re-read this post, I wanted to add this.  Please hear my heart, dear single friend.  I do not want to pass blithely over the pain, insecurity, doubt and fear of this season in life.  I have been there both single and married.  In all things I join with you in fighting for the only rest we can ever truly know—that is in The Arms of God.  I urge you to daily live the Beauty of possessing a true Lover of Your Soul and know the urging of the Psalmist “Trust in the Lord at all times O people.  POUR OUT YOUR HEARTS BEFORE HIM; God is a Refuge for us. Selah.” Psalm 62:8}

 photo image :: Copyright RFsole -

When I think of all of the clumsy stereotypes for Christian singles, the image of solitary confinement comes to mind.  There’s this impossibly small space with bland walls, little to no food, and enough loneliness to cause you to go mad.  Singleness can be seen as a punishment from God or an indictment upon ourselves as unwanted, unseen and downright unlovable.

I realize that this image is drastic.  But sometimes drastic is what we need to shake us out of faulty thinking.  While I was single, I allowed myself to settle for less than the freedom of pure passionate relationship with God intended to surround me in a way shaped only for singleness.

But Hallelujah, this was not the end of the story for me.  He who has overcome the world, brought great victory in the single period of my life.  Since I have been married, I often look back to this season with longing.  Let me clarify—I have NEVER regretted a moment of my marriage, but I have missed the pure passion that was all God’s and the desperate clarity with which I pursued it.

In my story, the single years were all of my 20’s.  It may not seem very long, especially if this season is much longer for you.  But when I think of what I both experienced and endured in this season, I count it a pivotal, rest-of-my-life-shaping essential.  

While I was single, I became the first in my family to travel overseas.  Through this I became fluent in Spanish and traveled to Latin America as a translator for several missions’ projects.  I began a teaching career and knew great capacity to intern with youth groups and continually mentor high school students.  I moved a day’s drive from home not knowing a single person where I moved.  I experienced a powerful call to ministry and began seminary.

I weathered the deepest romantic heartache of my life.  As it crushed me, I needed to find the strength to heal and move forward with a soft, hopeful heart.  

I did the thing my determined independence would not allow.  With a peace that truly surpassed my understanding I moved home with my parents.  I learned to live interdependently with my mother, in particular, as I experienced healing in our relationship.  

A year after I moved home, my mother was diagnosed with stage four cancer.  I was a primary care-giver and found strength in God, my Husband, to be an anchor of support to both of my parents as my mom was dying.  

These single years are precious and made me a Jesus girl through and through.  For my husband, this is the single most attractive thing about me.

Pure Passion brought LIFE to every day of those years.  The unrestricted opportunity to follow God, to give myself to Him as My One and Only Lover, now gives me the depth of devotion to continue to love Him with passion and vision as a wife, mother, missionary, writer and more!

The truth is that single years are eternal years. 

Every day is a preparation.  This preparation may first be for a marriage where the Fiery Love of God is lived out at a level of Beauty that has been made possible by the Pure Passion that learned how to run free in the school of singleness.   

Or this preparation joins the preparation of all, single and married, as our hearts daily anticipate and hungrily grow in deepest of souls’ yearning for a Face to Face Love and Embrace to which nothing could ever compare!

If you are single reading this, I want you to believe that Pure Passion is For You!  God is pursuing you in radical ways that are daily gifts AND you teach all of us so much.  My prayer is that TODAY the lies of clumsy, chaining stereotypes find no place in what God intends to be gorgeous, godly, wildly full & His.

Join me tomorrow as I continue this series on Pure Passion :: From Giving Away to Holding Close {Dating}

Joining Jen, Michelle, and Laura


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