Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Pure Passion :: From Giving Away to Holding Close {Dating}

Author’s Note ::  Dear sister, if, after reading this, you experience guilt knowing you’ve given away what is priceless, know I have been there too. It’s hard for me to imagine a woman who hasn’t overrun God’s bounds when we really look at the wholeness of the gift of pure sexual passion meant to be guarded for marriage.  Please know that there is healing and always, always, the ardent pursuit of a God who redeems.   
I pray the vision of pure passion gives you the hope of what is always before you to live. With the Power of the Risen Christ in you, it is all possible!

Image Copyright :: RLsole -- fotolia.com

Song of Solomon 2:7; 3:5 (ESV)

I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
by the gazelles or the does of the field,
that you not stir up or awaken love
    until it pleases.

This Pure Passion Series is where I share my story.  The truth is most of my life has been full ofconfusion about the gift of sexuality.  In experiencing Pure Passion in my relationship with God, I began to have clarity about the depth of desire God gives us.  It’s ultimate end is Himself.  Recently, I have begun to see that this same passion is intended to bring wild, blessed life to sexuality.  

The best analogy I have found is that passion is a river that, in marriage only, is meant to move with freedom sexually as this treasure is the gift given to both husband and wife. 

But what about when we are dating?  Essentially we are in between the clarity of the single where pure passion is fulfilled in God, and the pure passion that is intended to envelop and infuse sexual intimacy as married couples delight in God and each other.


Is there any expression of pure passion that is in between these two extremes? One that honors God while we are dating?

Although there are lots of ways to answer this question, I want to respond from my story. That is how I see it in a fresh, yet painful, way as I learn the nature of pure passion and what it means to defile it.

Most of my life I have had no idea that all-out heart commitment and love for God had any connection to sexual desire.  I thought of them as warring opposites.

A lot of this comes from the double-barreled confusion of silence amongst Christians related to the gift of sex paired with severe warning against sexual immorality.  This forms a legalistic culture that feeds on fear while opening the door to hiding, shame, ignorance and sin. 

I am a product of this culture. The warnings took effect.  Truly, I did not think it was especially appealing to have sex, that big ugly NO NO, with anyone.  So I did remain pure sexually while dating.  Yet I gave entirely too much away.

It’s true.   

Perspective gets all mixed up and murky when we don’t see pure passion as the vein that pumps blood into both the longing of our souls for union with God and fuels the good desire for one-flesh union in marriage.   

During my dating years, I loved and lived for God in adventurous and joy-filled ways.  This passion for Him naturally found expression in friendships, good guy friendships and dating relationships.

And since the spiritual and emotional elements of relationships are freely talked about among Christians, I thought there was nothing wrong with giving of myself in the same way in relationships with guys.  There weren’t the clear red flags that came with sexual acts.  I wasn’t even kissing you all! So, surely it was all good.  

Wrong, wrong, wrong!

But where did I go wrong?  Why did I end up giving away the passion meant only for God while I remained sexually pure?

I take responsibility for what I will call spiritual and emotional promiscuity.  Although I was confused, something in me knew I was investing too much in guy friendships and dating relationships with good guy friends.  

But I desperately needed someone to make it clearer to me.

This is why I say that the warped and all-too-prevalent view that sexual purity is a safeguard to pure passion can have a devastating effect on good Christian girls like me.

So, really, truly, I think it’s time to talk about it all.
We need to stop separating the spiritual and emotional from the physical when it comes to sexuality. 

 In the blessed fullness of lifetime covenantal commitment in marriage between a man and woman, sex is the deepest spiritual, emotional and physical expression of love and worship that we can give to God in the context of community.  Through it we touch the redemptive heartbeat of Christ’s death on the cross, buying back all the innocent beauty of love that was lost.  Therefore we must understand and remind each other what we give away when we let any level of unguarded passion flow outside of the intimacy of marriage.

The TRUTH is that pure sexual passion is gorgeous, breathtaking, wild and delightful-- a pearl-of-great-price we must be inspired to sacrifice everything to keep.  It is a vision God holds for us, as the Giver of Marriage, and it awaits His clear timing to find its naked and unashamed revelation.  

So, you who are dating, whether in groups of friends, casually or exclusively, embrace the gift of pure passion.  Honor this indescribable gift at the cost of your life. Revolutionize your thinking.  Let your hearts be stunned.  And may the Beauty sought through ALL righteous yearnings rise up to form a hot, holy hold around the fountain of your own precious and unique passion.  

Tomorrow I continue this series :: Pure Passion :: From Hurt to Healing {when you've been abused}


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