Monday, March 3, 2014

a {missionary’s} life poem

School Programs, sunsets, etc 135

One step forward

five back.

Can I still be here?

Confidence lags a mile behind

hard to breathe the


of moments.

Tears, are close


eyes struggling to see.

soul to believe.

heart to trust.

feet to walk.

mouth to talk {literally}

any-of-me to…be. do…anything.

{It’s hard to write the sad. It really is.

It’s why the pen has run dry here the

place hallowed to inspire. encourage.

to fan to flame the gifts of God in you. in me.}

But I’m fighting for the

good. right. true. lovely. washing

away the lies that mar.

I’m doing battle right here.

Living the raw. The real. Exposing

the clay from which I am made.

I embrace the grace, the parakletos,

for the journey Home.

In soul-searing pain the heart beats.

Seeking Savior of life and limb and

ever-faltering steps.

Putting on knowledge; the mind-as-true-part-of-heart


In losing life I find

In counting gain loss I take on His

Competence of first skin culture…

comfort laid down in obedience and

sacrifice of will.

Life as exile fitting tight.

Why? Why must it be so?

It. is. so. hard.

Yes whining…there’s {a bit of} this {I cringe} it’s true.

Obedience? devotion? sacrifice? I’m shedding

those layers too.

All that says look here {at me}

Plunging deep and letting go

the inward smile breaks. Sun

peaking through clouds.

Light of the world come down.

Peeling infinite culture’s breadth; robes

perfect, holy to claim. this too.


Acute angle pierces truth.

It’s this.


Integrity of Name Above All Names.

Only true bow of knee and heart

of soul and life

of words and tongue.

Removal of first, second

third skin and on and on and on

Release of ability to do. be.

Life as school…the teaching true

its learning full.

Worth blood of capillaries

solitary tears

false faces that masquerade

every reaching, seeking, strain

of way, will, life

bound up in me.

One step forward

as-many-as-it-takes back,

down, bended low,

humbled, unafraid.

AWA 2/27/14






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