Tuesday, January 29, 2013

my word for this year…DWELL

http://www.lookingfortigger.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Green+Pastures.jpg

I looked to 2012 with one big question mark.  I hoped for many things not the least of which was the culmination of our journey overseas.  I also had been praying and laying before the Lord the desire for another child, not at all sure how that would fit into everything else.  Now I am here at the beginning of 2013 having lived in my new home for almost 9 months with a two and a half month old baby sleeping in his crib. 

It has been a big year.

I chose ‘secure’ as my word for 2012 gently pairing it with the word ‘dwell’.  I affirmed the choice to learn and seek out and meditate upon the truths necessary to {dwell} secure.

The best way to describe what I learned about security in 2012 is to say that there is a ton of truth that I struggle deeply to really live.  I thought that I would definitely need to make ‘secure’ my word for 2013 and 2014 and 2015 and…

But as I thought about it more, I realized that I could easily rattle on for a long time the clearly articulated truth of my security fully bound in the person of Christ BUT it is the living, the living, the living of it where I still remain the homeless beggar.  And oh how I need to learn to dwell in that security.  And I need to learn how to learn with all its messy and ugly and tears as my insecurity is so easily exposed in the process.

I have been greatly encouraged as I have come to realize that this dwelling securely happens in a ‘broad’ or ‘wide’ place.  As David’s Psalm suggests, written in praise after the Lord delivered him from all of his enemies when he was hunted by King Saul.

He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. ~Psalm 18:19

You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. ~Psalm 18:36

Though the battles that I fight are against those fierce enemies of terrible, towering lies, there is ever waiting for me a broad green pasture of Grace.  It is not made of a security dependent upon my staying firmly within its unwavering grip. 

For the reality is that I stray from that grip almost constantly as all that I trust in other than the righteousness of Christ reveals its ugly rearing head.  But that will ONLY EVER BE the messy as this salvation, this life in Christ is worked out in this valley of tears and fears and all of this fallen, aching world that yet clings to me.

Not matter how much I mess up or get it wrong, my security remains bound up in the deepest heart of my heart which Christ has claimed for His own and in that infinite spiritual reality it flows right out all about and there is this heavenly wide space that is all that will remain forever.

It is here in this place, for the rest of my days that I purpose to dwell.

{p.s. Check out this new website that I’ve been asked to contribute to monthly.  It’s called Missional Women and offers a lot of resources for women seeking to live purposely for the Lord.}

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SoliDeoGloria

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Friday, January 25, 2013

Five Minute Friday :: Again

Fall to Early Winter in Bp 712

Go ::

Again…

I fall, I fail,

I struggle and flail

I wander aimlessly about a barren land

I try to helplessly find my way

and wonder all along

if I’m getting anything right.

Again…

I dive into that ocean of Grace.

I rest in that broad place.

I learn to walk beside the still waters.

to lie down in the green pastures.

I speak the truth against the lies.

and

Again…

I hear His voice.

He meets me and I rejoice.

In the magnitude of His tender love

And the joy of knowing Him.

That friendship Supreme that

guides my days and

guards my nights.

That touches the hurt

and heals the pain.

That lifts my drooping head

And calls me beautiful and His.

That beckons from the heights

and draws me to risk.

to know that no matter what is

around…

He. is. God.

And again and again and again and again and again

Until there is no possibility of turning away from

His most glorious face

When all of the falls, the struggles toils and cares

will land me forever in those Arms of Love. of Grace. Of Majesty.

Amen & Amen.

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Friday, January 18, 2013

Five Minute Friday :: Cherished

Fall to Early Winter in Bp 138

Go ::

These days I’ve been kissing three sweet little heads.  Been nursing the sick and loving away the tears and my heart is swelling for the love of these three priceless gifts.  Who knew a heart could expand and the meaning of the cherished ones swell to rise above all of the din of this ever running, changing world? 

And in these days I’ve been hurting in this heart of mine.  I’ve been speaking words so unkind to a heart that feels the failure of self-made plans and expectations and all that I put on me just to love me.  And there’s an anguished cry and a heart that is sad and tears that are real…

And then I remember the kisses and the love for these 3 ones and this heart that is so limited yet the swell of love for my own little loves and I remember

the heart of the Abba Father, my Daddy in Heaven and on Earth and in me and filling the whole earth with that Glory.

and His heart is clear and He loves in swells that rise to the highest heavens and He defines the true cherishing from which my own little one comes.  And I remember that it is His cherished love and the way that He holds it close to His heart that He might hold me close that stays the anguish and the pain and all of the walls my own defeat uses to hem me in.

For if my own swell of the cherished love for these precious gifts bursts my heart to full what can I but imagine to be the rise and fall of the glory of the receiving of His own cherished, holy caress of my soul?

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Friday, January 11, 2013

Five Minute Friday :: Dive

 

Fall to Early Winter in Bp 002

Go ::

And in these days a cry is coming from the deep places

the deep places of the heart of an infinitely loving God

These deep waters they are beckoning me.

‘Dive’ Beloved, ‘Dive’ they sing to me.

Plunge heart first into what I have for you.

Leave your fears on the distant shore and

Let go. Dive Deep into the clear blue.

Don’t worry about the depths thinking they

hold danger, or darkness.

No, the further you dive the more fully you

learn to trust Me.

I want to draw you deeper until all you can

see is an ocean of love, of singing-over-you purpose,

of THE LIFE I have for you in this world you now

call home.

Dive Dear Daughter and fear no more.

Let go of all that holds you back and

let your hair flow free and your heart beat true

and let all the voices that speak the lies and

hold you back be once and forever

silenced.

Laid quiet and small, so small, next to

the roar of My Waters .  The waters

of a Love so profound it sings from Eternity’s

endless place and sails upon the seas of time

into a forevermore where all becomes the

rushing song of this One Great Love.

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faith filled friday


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Friday, January 4, 2013

Five Minute Friday :: Opportunity

Fall to Early Winter in Bp 680

Opportunity is a word to unpack.

At first read my mind reels to all of the opportunities to be useful, to jump into life in this new country, to be that everything kind of Superwoman.  It sort of leaves me harried, and performing and a little stressed to look at it that way.

Opportunity is something deeper, I think.  It unites with promise and is infused with Grace and breathed upon by the Spirit to guide us deeply into the will of God.

There were many years, when I was responsible for only myself.  Yes, that world seems so long ago, but I definitely approached opportunities by jumping in…no regrets and no holding back and I wouldn’t trade the experiences I gained for anything.

But this season of motherhood, of little ones in tow and a newborn too…the vision is much blurrier to me.  Opportunities can often bring guilt when it seems right to pass them up, but that’s so not how I want to look at these things with a fresh year ahead…

No I want to look at each opportunity as a chance to trust God more.  To seek His face for the yes or the no.  I want to wait and know Grace when I say no and later think maybe yes was best and when I say yes and realize it was too much to take on.  I want to see opportunities as ways that I will gain a deeper understanding.  To listen.  to be still and quiet.  to let go of the ‘doer’ mentality that finds worth in activity and to see the opportunities

laid out as flowers to be picked in a wide and glorious field.  Many will remain beautiful…to be picked by another.  And their beauty will be no less than those that I am led to pluck and smell and dress the table with…

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This is a weekly link up for a great site called ‘Missional Women’ that I was asked to contribute to regularly.  Lots of amazing things are happening there!  Check it out!!! {Here’s a link to the first post I wrote over there}

faith filled friday


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