Here is new, these days, in so many ways new.
Here is good and right but oh so hard.
Who knew that the constant newness, the feeling
of being the alien, the stranger would exhaust so?
I suppose I was supposed to know.
But here is also the chance to do what few
have the privilege of doing.
To make a whole new world your home
and hug it tight and shower the love of
life and family upon it.
Here is a journey completed yet only just begun.
A chance to immerse yourself in a state of constant
failing and flailing and humbling, the oh so humbling
Here is where the heart strings are strained with family
and ministry and all that is comfortable so often
so far away.
But here is the only place where those heart strings
can break and realize their ever small ways
and ability to love the lost, hurting & broken.
And so here is the journey that has cried from
deep inside though its fulfillment make
me shake in these proverbial shoes.
It is the chance to breath out what I can do, what
I can make out of a life, my life and to
find it all surrendered. To learn
that it is only in the letting go, the
emptying that I will receive.
It is a place to ask for what I do not have
and could never conjure up
and to find that its void is filled
by what only the breath of God