Tuesday, January 29, 2013

my word for this year…DWELL


I looked to 2012 with one big question mark.  I hoped for many things not the least of which was the culmination of our journey overseas.  I also had been praying and laying before the Lord the desire for another child, not at all sure how that would fit into everything else.  Now I am here at the beginning of 2013 having lived in my new home for almost 9 months with a two and a half month old baby sleeping in his crib. 

It has been a big year.

I chose ‘secure’ as my word for 2012 gently pairing it with the word ‘dwell’.  I affirmed the choice to learn and seek out and meditate upon the truths necessary to {dwell} secure.

The best way to describe what I learned about security in 2012 is to say that there is a ton of truth that I struggle deeply to really live.  I thought that I would definitely need to make ‘secure’ my word for 2013 and 2014 and 2015 and…

But as I thought about it more, I realized that I could easily rattle on for a long time the clearly articulated truth of my security fully bound in the person of Christ BUT it is the living, the living, the living of it where I still remain the homeless beggar.  And oh how I need to learn to dwell in that security.  And I need to learn how to learn with all its messy and ugly and tears as my insecurity is so easily exposed in the process.

I have been greatly encouraged as I have come to realize that this dwelling securely happens in a ‘broad’ or ‘wide’ place.  As David’s Psalm suggests, written in praise after the Lord delivered him from all of his enemies when he was hunted by King Saul.

He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me. ~Psalm 18:19

You gave a wide place for my steps under me, and my feet did not slip. ~Psalm 18:36

Though the battles that I fight are against those fierce enemies of terrible, towering lies, there is ever waiting for me a broad green pasture of Grace.  It is not made of a security dependent upon my staying firmly within its unwavering grip. 

For the reality is that I stray from that grip almost constantly as all that I trust in other than the righteousness of Christ reveals its ugly rearing head.  But that will ONLY EVER BE the messy as this salvation, this life in Christ is worked out in this valley of tears and fears and all of this fallen, aching world that yet clings to me.

Not matter how much I mess up or get it wrong, my security remains bound up in the deepest heart of my heart which Christ has claimed for His own and in that infinite spiritual reality it flows right out all about and there is this heavenly wide space that is all that will remain forever.

It is here in this place, for the rest of my days that I purpose to dwell.

{p.s. Check out this new website that I’ve been asked to contribute to monthly.  It’s called Missional Women and offers a lot of resources for women seeking to live purposely for the Lord.}

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