Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Uprooting :: Golden Threads for the Journey {Part 2}



For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. And because of him you are in
Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.”
 ~I Corinthians 1:26-31

I have become convinced of one thing through this journey overseas.

God doesn’t NEED anything…He especially doesn’t NEED ME TO DO ANYTHING. His eternal purposes are not based on my capabilities or performance. Nothing could be further from the truth.

And so the beautiful underside of this is really what’s at the heart of His leading in my/our life calling us to this unique and thrilling adventure with Him. And that beauty is that He has graciously pursued us with a fierceness toward one end :: that we would know Him and in so doing make Him known.

This knowing is a deepening thing that does not hinge upon modules of theological truths {though these are good and right things to pursue}, but on this golden thread ::
Brokenness and Faith are fully intertwined.

If I want to truly know Him, I must walk a broken way. The degree to which I embrace my weakness as the pathway to a faith in who He is is the degree to which I will truly come to know Him.

This knowledge is rich and transforming but it is also messy and not easily acquired. There is no jumping over the walls of my own insufficiency. There is no hiding behind what is comfortable or easy if I truly want to enter and dwell in His heart. Because of all that this world counts as dear, the attainment of success and things tangible in the eyes of others, I can only come to Him through failure and inadequacy.

It’s not the first time that I have clung to this golden thread. The driven, over-achieving perfectionist came to the end of herself 20 years ago. And that end, I am learning, learning, learning is one that never goes away, instead it is woven throughout every meaningful step I walk towards Him, towards Jesus, my Savior, and towards a Home where He is ALL THE GLORY forevermore.

And so I am thankful. I am thankful for the hysterics in the car when I yell at, er, to my husband ‘I CAN’T DO IT!!!’ Meaning learning how to drive a stick shift well AND here, in this new place. I am thankful for the dizzy mind fog in the gigantic grocery store when my brain is clearly telling me I’ve had enough, for the sweat pouring in the furious grocery bagging in this bagger-less place;) I am thankful for the craziness of indefinite and definite verb endings {which have nothing to do with tense, btw} that are just ONE of the confounding intricacies of the Hungarian language…

And why am I thankful for all of these and more??

Because in them I am broken. In them I pray for strength and put my faith, not in myself, but in the God who is drawing me to Himself through His higher ways that look to forever and perfect relationship and wean me from the fierce independence that is the fuel of this world.

So this is the stuff of a life where I need…I need Him and others. This is the life that my heart of hearts cries out for and so I grasp this silken golden thread of a faith-filled brokenness and I purpose to never let go…

Linking with Laura, Jen & Michelle :) 

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