Tuesday, March 6, 2012

how the little and the big go together

“He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”  ~Jim Elliot

So, I’ve been thinking about this journey…a lot.  It’s longer, much longer, than we thought it would be.  Not just when we sensed the called to move overseas long-term but so, so, so much longer than we would have ever imagined that first night over eight years ago when we heard a young missionary couple share their heart and ministry to students in Hungary.

And those eight plus years have brought together a lot of little, seemingly minute moments and choices, that have fit into one BIG tapestry.

The little things started that first Sunday night when I really needed to correct some papers and get ready for my week of teaching, but said ‘yes’ to going to a youth meeting to hear missionaries speak.  The tiny times continued when I would be having a few quiet minutes with the LORD before leaving for school and I would let the questions come about how we wanted to spend our lives.

These led to a BIG thing of committing to move forward and apply and work towards a year internship with the student ministry in Hungary.  And this led to many more little choices. Often just to be looked upon as crazy and patronized with ‘it’s good to have an adventure while you’re young.’

Every little step of obedience after a BIG ‘yes’ has put our faith to the test.

Do we trust God to raise up more money than we would have ever thought to ask?  And that question keeps coming as previous goals are blown out of the water by new ones.  It’s become a constant discipline of trust that propels us together and forward as we are humbled to know and see with our own eyes that He will always provide.

And when we said a BIG ‘yes’ going on two years ago, it has led to so many little ‘yes’s and the bending of our wills and the waves of surrender that just keep washing over us.  Will you release these friendships, this community to me?  Will you let go of knowing what tomorrow will bring? {who really knows anyway…security in what is seen is just a façade.}  Will you sort and pack and pack and sort and just keep letting go of material things?  Will you embrace loneliness as you live in-between?  Will you trust me enough to follow your desire to have another child, not knowing where you will be throughout the pregnancy? {We just found out we are pregnant:}

At times as this journey to move overseas has continued in its often-seeming ho-hum I have wondered if I am learning and growing.  And that gentle and loving Abba Father opens my eyes to the tapestry that the BIG bright and bold yes’s with their woven paths built by little stitches of the simple and small yet obedient and true have made.

And I smile and sing a little deeper from my soul knowing that all things are working together for our good and it is a wondrous and beautiful and eternal good.

Friend can I ask you?  Is your life full of little things that reflect trust in Him?  If not, do you need to re-visit the BIG things and ask Him if they are His will or yours?  Remember that stability and control are a mirage but one that this world paints as life.  Abandon what is false for another world that is eternal. Ask for the eyes to see and live, really LIVE, for what will never pass away. 

May we never choose another way as long as we draw breath. Because He is WORTHY of all of our moments, days, hearts, selves, wills, dreams, goals, loves…He ALONE is WORTHY.

{photo source}






1 comment:

  1. this hits home for me and my family right now....


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