Monday, July 25, 2011

when you feel like you’ve been beaten up

How in the world do we survive this battle?

I do feel like I’ve been beaten up.  The gut punches of this transition are the leaving of those we love and a home we loved and a life we pictured fitting beautifully and fully into for some time.  An ocean soon to separate us from our families who we also love and miss terribly when we are away from them.

The gut punches have followed to our new home in Colorado this summer first as a tremendous gift of community.  While hurting we opened ourselves up to these beautiful ones even knowing that soon we’d know pain in these relationships as the leaving would come again.  Many in so very similar situations that our closeness is unspoken; bound in the simple knowing we are experiencing the same things.  We belong together in our uprooted~ness and also in what it is to answer a call overseas—the lack of understanding, surrender, sacrifice and what and Who sustains us through that.  And in these days one by one we leave and are literally going to the four corners of the world and yes, we have Heaven, but oh how the hurt right now is real.

And then came our name change.  Announced the first night of the bi-annual U.S. Staff crulogoConference.  We, the staff, have been brought along in the process.  The leadership has been Christ-like, gracious, understanding and most of all have sought our Great God for His direction throughout the process.

The second day of media is when we all felt gut-punched.  Well respected sources and well-followed others assuming the worst.  The previous name, Campus Crusade for Christ, changed to simply Cru and thus thinking we got rid of Christ because we are ashamed of Him.  Inciting conservatives, ministry partners and putting a huge strain on many within our organization.

In the midst, we have all had a sense that this is a part of a whole.  With our family and our organizational family, these gut punches have stripped us bear and leave us with one question alone: “Whose, in the end, are we?”  If the opinions of men and women, well-meaning in their criticism, take us down or divide us, then, we are not truly living like we are His.

If the surrender of leaving and moving overseas creates a victim mentality that embitters us, then, nothing else will matter in the end.

I love how Steve Sellers, the U.S. Ministry National Director put it: 

"If Cru gets hammered in the media but Jesus gets discussed all over, I can live with that."

And in some way that makes no earthly sense that is what is deeper than the beating up.  If Jesus is proclaimed through my life, through our lives, though I am hurting and our organization is hurting, then that is right and good and I embrace it.

If we are completely misunderstood and the worst is thought, then, we cling anew to a Jesus who sees our thoughts and knows our hearts and loves us still and full and whole and new and His opinion is all that matters.

SoloDeoGloriaSisterhoodUse it on Monday

Thank You Precious Lord Jesus:

#1477-1487

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1 comment:

  1. Wow. I am terribly sorry you are having to deal with such a double whammy. The Lord bless you and your sweet family.
    Side note: if the organization were ashamed of Christ it would simply stop functioning, since everything it does glorifies His name.

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