This has been a difficult week for me, for my family. We all lost someone very dear to us, a grandmother to many, a mother to many (a surrogate one to me after my own mother’s death), a mother-in-love to my twin sister and brother who married into her family. For over twenty years she has given my family love and truly our families have become so intertwined with sharing 11 grandchildren, nieces, nephews…She lost her battle with cancer last Monday in the middle of the day—the same kind of cancer that took our mama a little over nine years ago. My heart has been raw and hurt and I haven’t wanted to really talk with anyone about it and the people I want to love through it are across the country and I can’t do what my heart desperately wants to do as I am in the midst of intensive overseas training.
I know very little, but I DO KNOW that we ‘do not grieve as those who have no hope’! Our dear friend, mother, grandmother is in the Arms of Jesus, the Only One Worthy to surrender her life unto. In the pain of grief and the mystery of all that is not right in the here and now, we LONG FOR HOME!!! We say the hard eucharisteo and thank Him that this is HIM!:
But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone. In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God, for whom and through whom everything exists, should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering.
~Hebrews 2: 9-10
And so now, to five minutes on
oh wonder…a love that will not let me go…
O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in Thee;
I give Thee back the life I owe,
That from Thine ocean depths it's flow
May richer, fuller be.
oh wonder…only You. in the midst of grief and face of doubts and why’s and anger at the pain speak mystery.
you stand above what we CANNOT understand about this world wracked with pain and you speak LOVE. You speak a love that is full of mystery. A God who would leave His heavenly riches and be HUMILIATED, tasting death for us—saying ‘yes’ to the suffering. Choosing it, for you could surely have rejected it, but YOU choose it that you might taste the sting we will never have to…
You are WONDER. There is a mystery beheld in the midst of tears that blur our vision and shroud our hearts in raw pain and yet the glimmers of Your goodness…you. A God who speaks to us from Eternity’s riches through a suffering in the frailty of where we walk and places His balm of love on the deep pain only He can touch. only He can heal. This IS YOU! You are the Only One who has the words of Life, Life Itself and so where else can we go…though we hurt and question Your ways, no heart that sees can deny a Suffering Savior who tastes death that all our days forever and ever might be lived with every tear wiped away and joy eternal, love all-embracing and full as our Only Vision.
This is WONDER…Beholding You.
and also linking this with a ministry friend, Laura, at Beholding Glory