Monday, November 15, 2010

The Way of Mothers

{If you are coming from Ann's, this is an 'old' favorite post that just went so well with hers, that I had to link this one...}

November 13th, 2010

BabyJJ 002 I carried the  blanket all tucked up with the hair just cut OFF of my beautiful, blonde three year-old’s head.  I dumped it in the trash can. (the big one that sits out for the garbage truck) I told myself I needed to.  As it lay in that light-colored clump near the bottom, I reached down and grabbed a handful.  I put it in a bag with this date, November 13, 2010 and stuck it in his baby book. I had to. I am a mother and this is the way of mothers.

I NEEDED to cut his hair…it was curling into his little boy eyes that guide runningAlleman Family Photo Shoot 008 feet all over for this or that ball or to race or to be a super hero.  I kept having to brush it away so he could be a little boy.  But somewhere inside of me I’d been fighting this.  It was like I’d be cutting away a piece of what was chubby baby turned still-chubby toddler but now is undeniably just-a-little chub Boy who becomes full-fledged Boy who becomes Teenager who becomes Adult who flies the coop.  Oh where has the time gone?!   But, then, this is the way of mothers.

I don’t know if the hair will be as blonde the next time I cut it.  Perhaps.  It still bleaches in the sun.  But it’s showing the signs of growing darker, growing up.  And I DO NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT!   Can you please agree?  This is also the way of mothers.

Alleman Family Photo Shoot 013 I would, if I could, capture these moments in some magical way so as to return to infant’s cuddles and toddler’s snuggles.  I would hold back the hands of Time so that my ‘baby’ could remain just that with kissable hurts and tears dried in my lap.  But this is not the way of mothers.

I join generations even back unto the first.  Cain and Abel childhood companions gone terribly wrong.  Oh, how Eve must have grieved.   Sarah who gave long-awaited Isaac over to Abraham to walk an unknown road of sacrifice.  Hannah who surrendered her newly weaned Samuel as promised to her Lord.   Elizabeth with one prized son in her old age.  He prepared the way through a wilderness-living life and died for the Truth he proclaimed.  And then there is Mary.  Ah Mary.  She pondered the prophesies and held them in her heart as she walked a road no mother ever walked nor ever will.  They stand strong and tall in our hallowed hall of remembrance.  For they most definitely walked the way of mothers.

The truth I know is the truth I must embrace evenNature Walk, Open House, etc 146 at the tender age of three.  This son is not mine.  If he is to become the man I pray he will, I cannot hold onto the past and grieve the present and dread the future.  I must walk this way of mothers. 

Listen to that great cloud of witnesses gone before including my own mother.  Draw from the beloved wisdom of so many women who walk ahead many years on this path.  Their courage and faith to embrace the growth of their ‘babies’ has not come without great pain.  And yet I know they would not choose another than the way of mothers.

Nature Walk, Open House, etc 217Still I wonder if in Heaven there won’t be an infinite line of mothers holding precious  Babes..never, ever wanting nor having to let go.  I see my own mama holding the three she never held in this life.  And so many beautiful mama’s redeemed who made choices that have marked their lives with pain that won’t fully heal until that baby is resting in their arms.  Precious others who have lost and who long for This Day when babes taken will be forever in their arms.  And those who have never had but always desired…here, where deepest joy is known their arms won’t be empty.

And so, my heart finds some eternal peace in the bittersweet now of my own growing babe.  For this is the way of mothers.



Linking to A Holy Experience because it just fits this post from 2/16/2011



  1. A bittersweet journey we mothers take. Beautiful post.

  2. This is such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing it. It's good and holy to cherish these things in our hearts, as Jesus's mother did. But I also admire my mother for her pragmatic openness and willingness to embrace all the seasons as they came along--her ability to let go, bit by bit, with grace.

  3. Beautiful, Abby! I am sitting in Panera right now, trying to hide my blubbering. Granted I am 7 months pregnant so I blubber a lot...but I totally feel you on this post. Life is so full of these tensions, isn't it? Somehow I feel this one so deeply! Everyone says it..that time moves so fast, that they grow up in the blink of an eye, that before we know it we are missing the things we didn't even know we had... but until you are in it (as with most things) you can't understand it fully. Thanks for sharing!

  4. What an amazing tribute to motherhood and the longings, fears, hopes and dreams of all mothers. Thank you.

  5. Wow. I am so glad you linked up at Finding Heaven. Your words are poignant, full, and rich. You will touch the hearts of many with this post, as mine has been touched as well. I hope you'll come back and link up every week. Many blessings to you, girl.

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  7. Ok, let me try this again!.

    Yes, this IS the way of mothers. Loved your pictures, your words, and love that I feel the exact same way about my little one. Beautifully written.

  8. So beautifully expressed ... and so true, "this is the way of mothers". And we are made in His image ... made for loving deeply. And how we need to hold onto Him in all the "letting go" and in the sometimes "pain" of loving so deeply.

  9. I love this! :) I look to eternity as well to comfort me when living reasonably in the confines of time means I can't spend all my day playing and nurturing my children. Dishes must be done, lesson plans must be made, errands must be run. I love that someone else looks to Heaven as a comfort in the letting them grow and go. :)

  10. This is SO beautiful! And you're right. So much is just the way of mothers, and we walk it, easy or hard, uphill or down.

    And we wouldn't have it any other way.


  11. Overwhelmingly beautiful! I'm so glad you posted your kind encouragement over at my place and that it led me here.

  12. This is gorgeous. I so enjoyed reading this because I mourn every time I cut the hair of my two little boys. My youngest is two and he looked like such a "big boy" after his blonde curls were trimmed. I also have a daughter and I don't notice it as much with her - it's definitely a boy thing.

    I love "This is the way of mothers." There are so many ways we are - our heart truly transforms, doesn't it?

    Great to have "met" you through Jen's blog. You are a wonderful writer.

  13. Hi, Abby! Thanks for stopping by to visit me :) I can so relate to the emotions you express here. My "babies" are teens now, and I am so very aware of the passing of time. I'd like to tell you it gets easier, but that would not be true or kind. What I will say is to treasure these moments--haircuts and all the rest--in your heart and hold them there...just like Mary.


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