Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Why I Write

parker_pen_and_paper
I’ve been finding great joy in a personal revival of …writing!  And yet, I realize that even something that is so life-giving can become so easily misguided.  I have been struggling for proper perspective and in this asking the question “Why do I write?”
I do not write to become a ‘famous writer’…this would be a gross distortion of a God-given gift meant for something far greater.
I do not write to find friends that I don’t have—I have many blessed friendships in family, present and distant community—people who I love and who fill my heart at every connection.
I do not write because I have ‘earth-shattering’ words that are unique to me or thoughts so grand no one else could have come up with them.  Now, that just sounds ‘silly’ to even write.
I do not write because there is no one to listen—my husband, for one, is an amazing listener who at any moment I could approach with the need ‘to talk’ and he would very gladly embrace that. (yes, he is rare and beautiful:)
So, Why Do I Write?
I write as ‘an act of worship’. 
 defined here as:
‘extreme devotion or intense love or admiration of any kind’
The words I seek are meant to reflect the Glory and Great Love of the One who says, “YOU are wonderfully made”.  The One who knit me together and placed within me a heart to seek Him passionately and to express what that seeking in all of its struggle and triumph looks like—to ‘paint’ this journey, dimly reflected and aptly called a “veil (valley) of tears”, in words…words that flow from my heart and interact with a page, or in these days, a computer, to create an offering of praise to the God who IS.  He IS in me.  He IS working.  His Spirit speaks to my heart and is closer than my next breath.
As these humble offerings spill out, my prayer and hope is that what they ‘paint’ and the emotions that they evoke in the meeting of the Spirit in another will bring Glory to Him who works and lives in every open heart. 
Writing is passion for me.  Words spring up and become ‘hope deferred’ that make my heart sick if they are not somehow clarified and poured out…for many, a journal for theirs and their Lord’s eyes alone is enough.  For me, these words are something that only becomes ‘words of life’ for myself and whoever they might fall upon if they are shared.  “Blessed to be a blessing”…the ‘sharing of life’ that speaks to the Triune God who exists in community and calls us to love and know one another as He loves and knows us.
And “I know as I am fully known.”  Writing is a reflection of His beautiful knowledge of me where He guides my heart into waters that are nonsense without Him.  And into this mess He speaks with clarity that is unique to the One alone who brings Redemption. Salvation. Everlasting Love and Life…Jesus Christ—Son of God.
There is great freedom in “writing as worship”it says, “I bare my heart in all of its doubts, fears, prickly places, confusions…the complete and utter humanity of it and I lay it down as an act of worship to the One who sees me, pursues me and loves me in an absolutely complete and perfect way.” 
Writing in this way wages war against the King of Lies who would ‘hem me in on all sides’ and point the condemning finger at the pain of my fallen heart declaring it ‘ugly’ and a ‘disgrace’.  Writing in this way is a weapon that brings peace and calm to quell the waves of doubt and fear.
Writing in this way is my 'dancing in the streets’ of this broken world and declaring boldly Who and Whose I am. 
It is my heartfelt prayer that I will find some co-journeyers who know this same passion and whose words bring further clarity, hope, peace, grace and fellowship of the broken ones who shine His light.  It is also my prayer that those who struggle for their own words will find a home for them in the ins and outs of my own written journey—reminding us all that we are born into the same humanity and redeemed for the same glory.
(I had already written the majority of this post before I read Ann Voskamp (my favorite blogger) at ‘a holy experience’ today…it was a fitting reminder that my own words are not unique, but what a joy to find in this crazy self-seeking blogosphere a fellow ‘upside down kingdom blogger’)

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1 comment:

  1. Beautifully written, Abby! And I agree with and embrace your reasons for writing. An act of worship, and also of obedience and surrender ... letting His love and light overflow to bless others.

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